Friday, June 13, 2008

"Garage Sale" fun and frolic

I decided that I don't like the "typical" people who make garage sale hopping a hobby?

You would be amazed how many people spend their entire daylight hours going from one garage sale to another. And clearly, known of them use computers.

I noticed this years ago, especially in the summer, of course, when garage sales are most popular. People who drive past as I was working outside and they would stop and yell their question about street directions.

"Do you know where Regent Drive is? Or Royal Foxhunt?"

What do I look like the porter or something? Go look it up on Mapquest. I have no idea where all those streets are.

They are all clutching rolled up newspapers with listing and listing of garage sales.

Well, I finally crossed the line and had my own garage sale. Yup!

I have three large pieces of furniture taking up all of one parking space in the two and one-half car garage. A table with a tile top and six wooden chairs, a large three-section backyard jungle gym and a racing car bed, both made of that very strong plastic that never breaks. It forced me to keep my car parked outside on the drive way.

Why? I have a two and one-half car garage! It makes no sense. But nothing ever does.

I finally broke down and decided to sell them. So I put a sign out in front of the house that read "Garage Sale" and listed all three items.

Orland Park doesn't require a permit to have a garage sale, which is great. But you are limited, technically, to no more than three a year.

It really wasn't a garage sale, though. Just a furniture clearance.

Driver after driver came buy. You don't need to buy an advertisement to promtoe your garage sale because all it takes is one ad and there is at least a dozen or more every week. People come driving through Orland Park and they will stop at every garage sale they see, even if it is not publicized in a paid classified ad.

These two ladies got out of their beater and just walked past me to my garage. Past the race car bed. Past the jungle gym.

"Excuse me. What are you doing?" I asked politely.

"Can we buy that?" one lady asked poingting to my 10-speed.

"No. That's not for sale. These are," I said pointing to the bed and gym.

They looked at each other, squinted their noses and one said, "I told you."

And they walked out as if I wasn't even there. These garage sale people are living in their own world.

People who drove up in the juniest cars gave me the most arrogant attitudes.

"Huh! That is $100?"

"The table costs $600."

"Huh! I can buy it cheaper some place else."

Fine. Get that stupid jalopy away from the front of my house. And take your attitude with. If you want it, it's gonna cost you $125, pal! I thought to myself.

Most of the people garage sale hopping are ladies. But they're not looking for good deals. They're looking for small junk.

"Don't you have any nicknacks or old toys you want to sell," one lady asked.

I got it. Garage sales are supposed to be dollar deals?

I'll keep them out all weekend. I fugure, why not. I'd buy the bed. Hell. I did buy the bed. And I bought the jungle gym, too. It cost a fortune.

I just want to park my car in front of the house.

Eventually, someone came by and bought the table and six chairs. Good deal. $75 down from $150. I'm not trying to rip anyone off. I just want to get rid of the junk to make room for the car in my garage.

So, we'll see how it goes the rest of the weekend. I'm on Windsor Drive, just in case you come by. Or email me at

Race card bed. Jungle gym. Going. Going. Soon to be gone!

Ray Hanania

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