Whole Foods: A whole lotta of hassle going on

Whole Foods: A whole lotta of hassle going on
Anyone who has been following my writings know that I used to be a big Jewel Osco fan. I loved the store the way I loved the Chicago Cubs. It was in a competition with Dominicks, but instead of winning the World Series, Dominicks collapsed and disappeared, leaving only Jewel.
And as soon as the competition vanished, Jewel went down the tubes. The food stayed on shelves longer than usual, so that it didn't last as long when you brought it home to cook and eat. There was far more spoilage and far less enjoyment. Prices skyrocketed. But as the only game in town, they had no reason to care. It was either Jewel or a trip to Cubs Food which is a cultural disappointment.
So now comes a place called Whole Foods. I guess it's supposed to be some kind of a "green" type of save the environment place. They butcher animals but they do it in a nicer way. I don't think the animals care that they are naturally fed or chemically plowed with nutrients. Either way the poor animals end up on our dinner tables in a justified form of animal cannibalism.
But I need my tabouli and that means fresh tomatoes, green onions, parsley and cucumbers. And a bag of cracked wheat, which I used to be able to get from Jewel but for some reason has been discontinued. I always have to go to a mainstream store and then take a detour to al-Khayam, the Arab grocer on 159th Street next to the abandoned Orland Video Super Store.
Hating Jewel as much as I do, I had to go to Whole Foods. I actually loved going to that spot years ago when it was a borders Book Store at 153rd and LaGrange Road. Borders was my favorite store, too. But then they died, too, and left us with the culturally vacant and uncreative Barnes & Noble across the street. I might as well sit and sulk at Hooters for lunch.

My tiny basket with its small selection of food items that took me one hour to collect

It only opened a few weeks ago but the parking lot was packed, as packed as it was when it served Borders. I could manage. But when I got to the entrance of the store, it was frightening.
Does anyone know how to run a good grocery store any more?
The baskets were packed into the smallest entrance I had ever seen. Maybe that's why they made the baskets so much smaller than the American-sized Jewel baskets. By the time I struggled to pull a green basket out of the line of baskets, I was shoulder-to-shoulder with strangers, all of them sour-pusses fuming steam over the annoyance of being near other people.
It was a nightmare. Did Whole Foods open during the Halloween season on purpose?
I couldn't walk two steps before people were snarking and pushing their carts in front of each other like a mad traffic jam on a snow covered Lake Shore Drive, struggling to find relief. As soon as I walked in, there was the parsley, and the tiniest cucumbers I'd ever seem for 2 for $300. The tomatoes were huge, and only five feet to my left. But that five feet might as well have been one mile of beachfront at Normandy on D-Day on June 6, 1944. Shoppers were strewn across the landscape, their dignity torn from their egos. Crawling through the maze of human hazard.
Who designed this place? Fire him. Or her. It's ridiculous. It's the tiniest grocery store I had ever been in, next to Trader Joe's. But I NEVER go to Trader Joe's to shop for groceries. I only swoop in for a specific food item. That place is small and packed. But Whole Food was like a cattle car packed with cows. And some of the shoppers were cows.
You know, we Americans are fat. We eat so much. We waste so much. Most of the people pushing those tiny little green food baskets that made them look four times fatter than they really are didn't need to be shopping on Sunday. They should be a Lifetime laying out a strategy to lose weight and improve their health. Don't tell me all of those people can't help it. That's baloney. Maybe a few poor souls are overweight because they have no control over their bodily growth, but the some of them are stuffing their faces like pigs in a trough ready for the slaughter.

This used to be a Border's book store. Now, it's a sardine can for consumers

The aisles at Whole Food were so narrow they hold two and half people shoulder to shoulder. When two carts park across from each other, there is no passing until the puzzlement on the faces of the shoppers is resolved. Standing there staring at a shelve with neatly arranged cans of diced tomatoes and boxes of pasta.
I made my way through the store up and down the aisles, one at a time, looking for all that I needed to make tabouli. I was disappointed, of course. They have all kinds of "ethnic foods" limited to Mexican and Italian. Nothing else.
The deli counter was on the other end. It was crunched into such a small space that it was no fun. Yes, I have fun going to the deli counter in Jewel. I just wish Jewel's food was fresher than it is. I stand there and stare at the variety of salads, remembering when I could down a gallon of potato salad and still drive a car. 
Ah, the old days!
Worse, the store made the replenishment of the deli bar a customer hassle, not an employee problem. The Glass case opens out into the crowd, not into the employee section. 
Kind of symbolized what the whole problem with Whole Foods is. This is about the store and its owners. It's not about the grocery store consumer. It's about them. And when you shop at Whole Foods is squeezing your way through crowded aisles is "shopping," you are quickly reminded that you don't matter much there at all. Not as much as the owners and their consultants who thought hey, let's take a neat idea and squish it into a match box and make a whole lotta money!
Nauseating.
-- Ray Hanania

A cynical look at the Orland Tax Rebate Program

A cynical look at the Orland Tax Rebate Program

Well, I will always be a cynic, I guess, especially when it comes to money and politics.

For example, the Village of Orland Park announced they will re-implement the tax rebate program this month (beginning October 29, 2012).

I think it is a great idea. But the timing is oh so suspicious. And I can't but help look at the motives of the village trustees. 

It's a funny thing about the word trustees. It includes the word "trust." And right now I have come to not "trust" all of the village trustees at all. Not all of the TRUSTees are TRUSTworthy in the village of Orland Park.

The Rebates will be processed beginning Oct. 29, and you can expect checks to arrive in your mail boxes in March sometime. March? You mean just before the next Orland Park consolidated election in which voters will be asked to rubber stamp the list of trustees and this time the Village clerk and village president.

The clerk, Dave Maher. is on my naughty list because of the shenanigans from the last election with his pampered son, Pat Maher. (What a mess Maher left at the Orland Fire Protection District, where I was asked to help with communications -- at a lesser cost than the one Maher had, by the way. But Maher's relatives and the relatives of the controversy-plagued former fire chief continue to twist the district's politics for their own selfish benefits.)

With the exception of Trustee Brad O'Halloran, I have never had much confidence in the trustees at all -- one in particular who is simply so hypocritical, but isn't up for election this time around.

I know Mayor Dan McLaughlin wants to do the right thing, but he is handicapped by a collection of trustees elected by little fiefdoms in the village. Each one has their political bases and alliances.

But playing politics with the tax rebate program? Come on folks. Don't you think it is transparent to people?

The rebate program was a genius idea first suggested by Mayor McLaughlin back in 2002, after the village voted to impose a .75 cent increase in the local sales tax, and after the village had their elections. McLaughlin's proposal was a good one. The sales tax would impact everyone including the large number of non-Orland Park residents who came to Orland Park to shop. To lift the burden off the backs of the taxpayers, the village offered an automatic tax rebate program so that residents would get a significant share of their taxes returned to off-set the impact of the sales tax hike.

In 2003, the average tax return was around $240 per household.

In 2008, the village decided they needed the money. The trustees thought enough time had passed and the taxpayers wouldn't remember the reasons for the rebate and the burdensome sales tax rebate. So they partially rolled the rebate back. In 2009, they eliminated the rebate. 

And in 2010 two incumbent trustees, Pat Gira and Ed Schussler barely won re-election. In fact, though they were elected, they got less than 50 percent of the vote. In fact, more Orland Park voters voted for someone else rather than them. Shameful and embarrassing performance if you ask me. (And I'll say it if you don't ask me, too!) 

The idea to re-implement the tax rebate plan came up right after that brutal election. They were concerned.

That was a shock to the Orland Machine. The bigger shock was the beating Cook County Commissioner Elizabeth Liz Doody-Gorman handed to the Orland Machine first in her re-election bid to beat down Pat Maher's feeble, crippled challenge. And then her backing that upset the cozy apple cart Maher had at the Orland Fire Protection District.

Orland's Machine doesn't like shocks and the trustees started to whimper. So, they decided let's give the voters money. Maybe that will make them happy. The economy sucks. Voters are stupid with short-memories. They'll take the money and be happy.

Well, the money being returned doesn't even come close to the money that was returned before. The trustees set a limit on how much can be returned to voters -- err, sorry, taxpayers, just in time for the next local consolidated election. They decided to return ONLY $2.5 million. If all 18,500 qualified taxpayers apply (it's not automatic this time, the village wants us to trust the trustees to make sure recipients qualify), then the average rebate will be a paltry $135.

That's about half what was returned in the past. Just estimating how inflation has devalued the dollar over the past 10 years, I would say the $135 would represent only 30 percent of the amount rebated to taxpayers in 2002 to off-set the oppressive local sales tax hike we continue to pay. That's 1/3rd of what we should be getting back compared to what we used to get back. (Don't promise something and not keep your word. The tax rebate plan was given for political reasons, and returned for political reasons.)

Yes, the economy is bad. But it's not as bad as the performance of some of our trustees on the village board.

And there is an election coming up and the village officials don't want to get b-slapped again. That election was a whooping!

The economy was the excuse, but the real issue is leadership. And when it comes to most of the village's trustees, leadership is about as watered-down as the election campaign tax rebate will be this Spring.

-- Ray Hanania

Orland Fire Protection District hosts "Media Day" Friday Sept. 28 -- meet new recruits, officials, and view training strategies

Orland Fire Protection District hosts "Media Day" Friday Sept. 28 -- meet new recruits, officials, and view training strategies

The Orland Fire Protection District is hosting a special “Media Day” at the district’s Training Center, 10728 west 163^rd Place to chronicle the Academy training and processing of our new Firefighter hires. The event will be held on Friday September 28, 2012 from 9:30 to 11:30 AM

The media will be allowed to view firsthand a series of fire training exercises including:

·         Live fire training

·         Engine operations

·         Hose line advancement

·         Forcible entry

·         Search and Rescue Techniques

·         Fire Extinguishment

Lunch will be provided afterwards at 11:30 am.

Palos Heights Restaurant showcases local comedians

Palos Heights Restaurant showcases local comedians

Sam Buca’s in Palos Heights will showcase a lineup of local comedians at a special performance Wednesday Sept. 26.

Performers will include longtime club owner and comedian Bill Brady, comedians Brian Hicks, Paul Kelly and a special appearance by Southwest News-Herald Columnist Ray Hanania.

The show begins at 7:30 pm. Tickets are $10 each with a two drink purchase minimum. Dinner is also available for guests during the show.

For information, call Sam Buca’s, 12231 S. Harlem Avenue, at 708-361-1226.

END

Finally struggling through real exercise

I've only been a member of Lifetime Health Club now for about three weeks and I finally learned what a real workout is all about. Until now, I've been power walking and jogging on the treadmills. And I thought THAT was exercise.
No. It's socializing. I have been power walking and jogging one hour each morning. I do feel great, that's for sure. But it was just helping me keep my health balance. It wasn't really moving me to slim down my waist, which is my goal. I'm 59. I'm not going to trim down into a six-pack abdomen. My goal is just to be healthier.
Exercise is when you push yourself so far that you can barely complete what you are doing. I had a trainer help me start a real exercise program. And I barely could finish what she had me start.
I've been lucky most of my life. I had a high metabolism. I rarely gained weight and was always slim. Good heart (despite valve replacement surgery in November 2010). I didn't need to exercise, although exercise never hurts. It can only help. But now, I need to exercise. The weight doesn't come off that quickly, but it packs on much faster. Suddenly, when I lived a life with no weight at all and describe as being skinny, now I was putting on the weight without any effort.
The trainer (I'll spare her the harassment of being my trainer : ) so I won't name her) was phenomenal. Very professional. And good. She had me do some basic exercises, not on the treadmill or the popular machines, but at the weights section. Halfway through the hour I had to take a break. She was pushing but she must have thought, maybe you should be on TV's "America's Biggest Loser" program. I won't take that program for granted any more.
The weight machines. The lifts. The large ball and balance. The biggest problem I had besides getting up off the ground was keeping my balance. Heels under the shoulders. Arms straight. Breathing. Keeping your face and shoulders forward. Lifting and pulling the weights.
When the hour was up, I dragged myself out of Lifetime to the car. It was a killer. But it had to be done. Next time I do the session, maybe my Trainer will even let me actually put weights on the machines.
Hey. I'm working my way up to 10 pounds! : )
-- Ray Hanania www.hanania.com

Village of Orland Park Presents Ninth Annual Taste of Orland Park Food, Music and Entertainment Highlight Weekend

Village of Orland Park Presents Ninth Annual Taste of Orland Park

Food, Music and Entertainment Highlight Weekend

ORLAND PARK, IL - August in Orland Park means the Taste of Orland Park. The ninth annual event will showcase 18 of Orland Park’s favorite eateries, selling a variety of food and drinks. The Village of Orland Park’s three day food fest opens at 5 p.m. on Friday, August 3 and closes at 9 p.m. on Sunday, August 5. Admission and parking are free.

“The Village of Orland Park has a great weekend in store for everyone,” said Orland Park Mayor Dan McLaughlin. “We have 18 great restaurants, exceptional entertainment on two stages, community wide participation and something for every age group,” the mayor said.

The Taste of Orland Park features a rich tapestry of culinary delights ranging from American classics to a variety of ethnic fare. Participating Orland Park restaurants include Baby’s Steak and Lemonade; Beggar’s Pizza; Blissful Banana Café; Burrito Jalisco; Café Gaston; Cooper’s Hawk Winery; Culver’s; El Pueblito; Hienie’s McCarthy’s; Mo’s Chinese Kitchen; Oberweis Dairy; Old Town Pizza; Orland Park Bakery; Palermo’s; Papa Joe’s; Riviera Country Club; RoccoVino’s and Rock Bottom Brewery.

Participating restaurants must be located within the Village of Orland Park and each “taste” is no more than $4 a dish. Select restaurants will serve alcohol, including beer, wine and a number of specialty drinks. All food vendors will sell pop and water.

“The village started the Taste of Orland Park in 2004 as a way to showcase the great restaurants we have in town,” said Trustee Pat Gira, chair of the village’s Recreation and Parks Committee. “The village staff works on this event for months, lining up the restaurants, community groups, the entertainment and making sure that we put on a great event for the community. They do a great job every year,” Gira said, “It’s a nice weekend to try some of Orland Park’s great restaurants, enjoy live music and see old friends,” she said. 

Along with indulging in a variety of cuisine, the three day fest includes live entertainment on two stages, community groups offering children’s activities, Kids’ Day on Saturday, a classic car show on Sunday, Bingo inside of the Civic Center both days and more.

The festival begins at 5 p.m. on August 3 with the 70s rock band, The Juke Box Band. That will be followed by the Orland Park Improv Team performing on the community stage with country line dancing instruction inside of the Civic Center. At 8 p.m., the village will host Live Band Karaoke on the community stage, inviting brave attendees to sing with a live band.  The first day of entertainment will conclude with the country and western band, Jin and Tonic, on the main stage from 8:30 p.m until 11 p.m.

Activities on Saturday, August 4 include Kiwanis Club Bingo inside of the Civic Center from 1 p.m. to 8 p.m.

Saturday is Kids’ Day at the adjacent John Humphrey Sports Complex, from 1 p.m. until 5 p.m. Activities include face painting, spin art craft, Thanks for the Memory Photo Booth, Pop A Shot Speed Pitch and Basketball, and “Touch a Truck.” There will also be a moon jump, obstacle course and slide for kids to enjoy, provided by Moon Jump Inc.

The annual Family Water Balloon Toss contest will be held at 2:30 p.m. at the Humphrey Complex and teams may include siblings or a parent and child. The Family Egg Drop Competition will follow at 3:30 p.m. Each team, which must include an adult and a child, must create and bring a device to catch the falling eggs. Eggs will be dropped from a cherry picker at increasing heights. The egg-catching devices must be no larger than two feet in diameter and pillows and hands may not be used. Pre-registration is not required for either of the free contests. Winners of each contest will receive a free Centennial Park Aquatic Center pavilion rental with twelve passes to the village’s pool.

A number of Orland Park organizations will be present during Kids’ Day, including the Orland Fire Protection District, Orland Park Police Department, Orland Park Pioneers Football and Cheerleading, Orland Park Soccer Club Soccer Combine, Orland Youth Association Girls’ Program, Joon Lee’s Taekwondo, the Village of Orland Park Karpov International Chess Institute and the Village of Orland Park Fencing Program.

Kids’ Day participants will also include the Bulls/Sox Academy, Independence Winter Guard, ISU FireBirds Ground Quidditch Team, Micro-Reality Stock Car Racing, Team USA Martial Arts, and Victory Martial Arts.

Saturday’s main stage entertainment includes Bopology performing at 1:30 p.m., the Chicago Tribute Anthology performing at 4:30 p.m. and the Journey tribute band, Infiniti, performing at 8:30 p.m.

The third and final day of the Taste of Orland Park begins with the Classic Double K Car Show at the adjacent John Humphrey Sports Complex from 11 a.m. until 4 p.m. on Sunday. Food vendors open at 1 p.m. with Confetti performing on the main stage, playing everything from 40s swing to pop.

The Orland Park Lions Club will host Bingo inside of the Orland Park Civic Center from 1 p.m. until 8 p.m. on Sunday.  The final round of “Orland Park’s Got Talent” will be held on the community stage at 2 p.m., with Five Guys Named Moe performing on the main stage at 4 p.m. American English, the Beatles tribute band, will close the fest Sunday night, performing on the main stage at 7 p.m.

“The Taste of Orland Park is a great showcase of the Orland Park community,” McLaughlin said. “The restaurants, the community booths, the sponsors, the local performing groups, the school groups --- everyone makes it a great weekend showcasing what makes Orland Park the great town that it is,” he said.

A full schedule of events, complete with restaurant menus, appears on the Village of Orland Park’s website at www.orland-park.il.us with printed schedules available at all village buildings. For more information, call the Village of Orland Park Recreation Department at 708/403-7275.

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Finally joined a health club, LifeTime, to lose weight and trim up

You get older and your metabolism slows down. And as your metabolism slows down, you start to put on weight. Most people put on weight in "shifts." That means as you age 10 or so, your weight increases and adjusts to a new "normal." Many people try to off-set weight gain by eating healthy. But eating healthy isn't enough. Remember, your metabolism slows, so what used to be "regular eating habits" are now excessive eating habits for you. What you used to eat before, now is adding weight as the process of burning calories naturally slows with your metabolism.
So you have to exercise. Exercise helps compensate for metabolism slow-down. It actually helps boost your metabolism.
Well, in the 20s, 30s and even the 40s, my metabolism was always good. Now that I'm in my 50s, I can't rely on it to eliminate the calories and weight that I have been putting on. I reach a natural plateau in the 50s of 220 lbs. Everyone has a different natural plateau of weight. That's mine. But, when you enjoy eating the way I do, the weight starts to pack it in, and it doesn't spread around equally. For some reason, weight gain loves to hang around my waist. 
And that weight gain adds stress and the stress wears you down and pushes your metabolism down, too. It's a vicious cycle.
I tried dieting. I did the Atkins Diet in the 40s and 50s and it worked great. Sure Atkins died of a heart attack. Basically, everyone does, eventually. The Atkins Diet is great for fast weight loss but the real challenge isn't getting used to the boring daily menu of all protein for 10 days or more, but rather when you are done and lost 30 pounds, how do you keep it off.
Eventually, Atkins weight loss stops working if you do it too often. Maybe it causes liver problems or gall bladder problems, too.
I lost 40 pounds once on Atkins. I kept it off for about a year, but eventually it slowly crept back on with a vengeance. Lost weight doesn't like Atkins and when it comes back, it packs in the fat even more.
In the 30s and 40s, I used to belong to the East Bank Club downtown. It really wasn't to lose weight but to have fun. It was a power convergence point where you met clients, old and new. It was fun, more like a country club for people who liked to spend a lot of money on exercise-wear, the fashionable sexy stuff that looks great on models, people like Jillian Michaels and on TV commercials, but looks funny when on regular people. There is a whole industry in fitness clothing and now technology, too. 
Maybe I should find a fitness business for a client to help them because most really don't know how to market beyond the community demand they enjoy -- people who come to them rather than being led to them to join.
Teh Nova Plates at the EBC were great. The pool on the rooftop was the best in Chicagoland. Hot women, too. Isn't that why most men join a health club? To meet hot women? 
Maybe so. But that's before they start to put on weight.
So last week, after a decade of ignoring the physics of life, I decided to join LifeTime in Orland Park. It costs about $140 a month for a family of three, including my son.
Why not? I thought. I waste a lot of money other ways in life, especially on technology that doesn't last very long.
I have to tell you the past week has made a huge difference for me. I've moseyed on up to 2306 pounds. Yikes. I can't help it. I'm Middle Eastern and I love food. Being Middle Eastern is an advantage when it comes to healthy living. That Mediterranean Diet is phenomenal and does a lot of good. Though I had a heart valve replacement surgery several years ago, my arteries were clean and clear. Because of the extra virgin olive oil and the hummus and garbanzo beans and the Tahini. Believe it! That Mediterranean diet works and can help you clean your system.
Of course, some people are genetically inclined to bad health. My dad smoked for 60 of his 70 years, two packs of Camel filterless cigarettes a day. He lived 70 years, but probably would have lived 100 had he not smoked. (I smoked when I was in college but quit during basic training in the Air Force and never picked it up again. That was more than 40 years ago.)
In one week, I'm down 10 lbs. I went from 236 lbs to 226 lbs and I am eating the way I always eat. The only difference is I go to the healthclub every morning around 5:30 or 6 am -- sounds early but I am up at 5 am every morning and I usually sit at a computer and write for 2 1/2 hours before heading for a hectic day of managing media and political consulting clients who are ALWAYS ON THE FRONTLINES OF CONTROVERSIAL NEWS. In the media almost everyday. That's stressful, the other killer of people besides age.
I have a plan. I power walk one hour every morning. That's it. That translates into about 3 miles with the treadmill set at "3."
I was going to buy a treadmill. I found a ProForm 850 that normally costs $1,200 at Walmart for only $490. Almost bought it. Fortunately, I don't have an SUV any more so I couldn't get it home and changed my mind. The next day, I joined Lifetime.
Of course, the only problem with Lifetime is they have been doing this so long they don't care any more. The service there is pretty shabby. There's no follow-up. Just the fast-talking sign-up pitch and then pay. I was going to join anyway.
The equipment is out-of-date. So 80s. The treadmills don't connect to the technology. You can't plug in your iPod into the treadmill or any of the equipment. They told me they are going to install WiFi in September. If you have to wait that long, you obviously don't understand how important wireless is to today's society.
They have a wall of TV sets each tuned to a different channel and you can listen in to any of them by using an FM radio set to the channel. (91.1 FM, for example.) The problem is the system sucks. I don't want to go out and buy a radio. I dropped the radio and all the other technology that followed like the Walkman when the iPod and iPad and iPhone were born, about 5 years ago.
You can go to Radio Shack and buy a $20 adapter to plug into your iPod Touch or iPhone to listen to the TV FM broadcast signals of your choice. (There are about 10 of them). But they don't work on the iPod Classic or on the iPad which has a 10-12 hour battery strength. The iPhone lasts a few hours but you will be burning up battery power pretty quick.
So I set the iPad on the Treadmill ledge that is there coincidentally. Not as a ledge to hold an iPad but as a design feature. I just lucked out. And I use a Bluetooth earphone system -- Back Beat Go from Plantronics. And I play an audio book and listen while I work out.
It makes the time go faster, especially learning more and more about Internet marketing and media and PR from the audio book I purchased.
Lifetime is not the power location to meet clients, either. Which is good, I guess. It's worn down looking. The in-door and out-door pools are good, but we're members of the Orland Pool, which for $150 a year is the BEST! The only advantage of Lifetime is that their in-door pool is heated and open all year round, and a great choice after the outdoor pools there and at Millennium Park close for the Fall.
The food isn't bad at their little restaurant at the entrance. Very healthy and very affordable, too. A good buy.
Anyway, it's just been 10 days. But the results of daily exercising speak for themselves.
I'll keep you updated when I am down to a svelte 180 lbs and have a 8 ridge washboard stomach. Well, just  being able to look down and see all of my feet without leaning forward, well, that's something any baby boomer would hope for these days.
-- Ray Hananiawww.hanania.com